Today

"Today is a new day.  Like every day before it.  Each moment in time is precious.  Gone in an instant, never to return again.  Hope springs from the essence of existence.  Forcing us to keep moving.  Colors bring light and life into the world, filling it with purpose that remains unnamed, untouched but still fathomable.  Beauty is not just in the eyes of the beholder, but in the beholder’s perspective of beauty."  



I wouldn't say I'm an optimist.  I'm not a pessimist either (Though I have my moments).  I usually accept things for what they are.  There's no point in being happy about the junk in your life.  But there's no point in complaining on and on and on about the inevitable.  These past few months have been chaotic.  A roller coaster ride that I'm still stuck on and will be stuck on for the foreseeable future. 

High school is hard.  Way harder than I ever thought it was going to be.  I'm not even in actual High school either.  I shudder to think what would've happened to me if I decided to go with my social instinct and go to the High school in our district.  I don't think I would've survived the school year.

I guess you're all wondering how this all relates to the quote at the beginning of this post.  That's a slightly long story.  Well, first off, it's mine.  I wrote it.   Why did I write it?  I'm actually working on a "project."  I put quotes around the word "project" because that makes it seem like someone is making me do it or that it's really important.  And it's really not.  But in another way it is.  I'm writing a piece based around the idea that within a year, a person can change in small ways until they're unrecognizable.  Until they no longer know or understand the person they were 365 days ago.  Nothing tremendously tragic happens to them.  They merely live.  They have their inner demons just like everyone else.

I'm writing this based off of personal experience.  From not only what goes on in my mind, but what I've seen happened in people who are very close to me, people I know and other people who I've only heard about.  I've been fighting my demons very hard lately.  I will not succumb to them any time soon.  But at the same time, maybe saying you won't fail or you won't lose, is the first step to falling.  It's a long way down.  This story tries to explain just how far down it really is.  Once you hit rock bottom, you only have two choices left.  I haven't decided which one I'll end my story with.   This is my turning point.  Oddly enough, I'm finding answers to the very questions that I'm writing.  Hopefully the story will have a happy ending.  Hopefully everything will be okay.  Hopefully the scars won't hurt too much. 

The excerpt above is from Day 1.  I'm calling the piece "The Way We Fall."  Hopefully I'll post some more of it very soon, but no promises.

Talk later,

Amy

Finally!!

So I apologize for not posting for FOREVER.  I've been busy with holidays and family and now with school and work and all that jazz.  But I'm hoping to start posting at least weekly if not every other day.

Anyway.  What have I been up to?  Well I've been working (I babysit)  a LOT.  I babysit for a core group every week and then I have other little random jobs.  Which have been popping up more and more which is pretty exciting for me.  I love being around kids and talking to them and interacting with them.  It's so neat to be a part of their lives and to see them grow up. 

School has started back up too.  I'm taking a math class this term.  It's intermediate algebra, so the step in between algebra 2 and college algebra which I am nowhere near ready for.  I like my teacher, she's pretty nice.  It's a lot of work, but I feel like I'm doing pretty well so far.  Of course it's only a week into term, but it's off to a good start.

I've also been writing SO much.  It's pretty much my therapy right now.  A lot of people who read my writing are surprised and they say that it's good, but either really sad or it doesn't sound like me.  I feel like I can become someone different when I write.  I'm not sure which 'person' is more real.   I think I feel like I can be completely honest when I write.  I feel like I can say everything that I wish I could say in real life.  I feel like I write better than I talk.  Speaking on front of people is not a gift I have been blessed with haha.  Writing for me is so freeing.  It helps me get through different things I struggle with. 

Well, I better get to homework, but I'll post again soon.  And let me know if you guys want to read one of my pieces. 

Amy